mountainchiliad:

- Welcome to Night Vale proverb

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

streeter:

I’m glad the portrait of Ben Franklin stayed the same on the new $100 bill. There’s something about his slight, tight frown, the paternal hint of disappointment in his eyes and those pursed, sealed lips that seem to say, “I don’t approve of what you’re doing, but I can’t stop you from rolling this banknote into a straw and ripping a fat rail of white lightning in the Buffalo Wild Wings handicapped bathroom stall, you goddamn beautiful disaster.” 

(via takthehideousnewgirl)

"Why do white people own so many pets?
Because we’re not allowed to own people anymore.
*****
What is the scariest thing about a white person in prison?
You know he did it.
*****
how many Chicago cops does it take to change a light bulb? None, they just beat the room for being black.”
*****
A good looking 50 year old white man is trying to get laid on reality TV. What show are you watching?
To catch a predator.
*****
Why do white girls travel in groups of three or five?
They can’t even
*****
What do you call 64 white people in a room? A full blooded Cherokee."

from various reddit threads

at dinner last night, a coworker was talking about hanging out with his white friends and getting fed up with the racist jokes, and asked them to tell a white people joke.  nobody had any, so he googled and found these. after a few of them, people were a lot less comfortable.

white folks, next time you hear a racist joke, maybe lead with one of these in response.  tag this “I’m white” when you reblog it, if you are.

(via cuterpillar)

(Source: transascendant, via ipomoeaj)

Tags: I'm white

(Source: eliaes, via jennytrout)

I found my friend’s self insert fanfiction.

…..yeah

curliestofcrowns:

I think Halloween should be a month long holiday where you eat nothing but candy every night and think deep thoughts about spooky things

abigaillarson:

"Pretend to Sleep" based loosely on Night Vale episodes

abigaillarson:

"Pretend to Sleep" based loosely on Night Vale episodes

(via vvickedvixen)

time-doesnt-wait-for-me:

pellaeonthewingedlion:

shewhohangsoutincemeteries:

PotterFacts 7/404 | The Chamber of Secrets
"Gilderoy Lockhart is the only Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher to have no connection at all to Voldemort."

That’s because even Voldemort has a certain demand for skill and competence

that was the sickest burn i have ever seen

time-doesnt-wait-for-me:

pellaeonthewingedlion:

shewhohangsoutincemeteries:

PotterFacts 7/404 | The Chamber of Secrets

"Gilderoy Lockhart is the only Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher to have no connection at all to Voldemort."

That’s because even Voldemort has a certain demand for skill and competence

that was the sickest burn i have ever seen

(via standbyyourmantis)

For work snacks I bought:
Bagels and cream cheese with tea
Donut holes with a pot of coffee
Granola bars and juice

It’s not awesome, but it’s snacks for a whole office and I bought it with my own money.

Tags: snacks

perennialwhitesnakeshuggermugger:

puckish-thoughts:

THERE IT IS AGAIN!  THERE IT FUCKING IS!  i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!!  THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!!  BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING.  THIS SHIT IS REAL.  THIS IS REAL SHIT.  SHIT THAT HAPPENED.

That still doesn’t explain why a guy is duct taped to the ceiling.

perennialwhitesnakeshuggermugger:

puckish-thoughts:

THERE IT IS AGAIN!  THERE IT FUCKING IS!  i’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT THIS PHOTO FOR YEARS AND NEVER COULD FIND IT!!  THE LAN PARTY WITH THE GUY DUCT-TAPED TO THE CEILING!!  BACK IN ANCIENT TIMES WHEN PEOPLE STILL USED CATHODE MONITORS AND WHEN COUNTERSTRIKE WAS THE NEW THING.  THIS SHIT IS REAL.  THIS IS REAL SHIT.  SHIT THAT HAPPENED.

That still doesn’t explain why a guy is duct taped to the ceiling.

(Source: unregistered-hypercam2, via salishere)